And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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