i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
