every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
