maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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