That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just cropdusted the office
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
