I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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