I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
