life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles