I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
