he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.