Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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