I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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