Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
