woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back