you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
