I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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