It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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