Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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