He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize