i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
