That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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