Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
