I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
