That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
