I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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