I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
foreskin is a definite game changer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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