He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize