the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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