We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
