5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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