That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
