The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
