Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
