just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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