The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
