Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
