i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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