It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
