so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize