you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
