My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
