OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
