There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
