yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
