how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
