Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
