she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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