I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
