Whatcha textin bout Willis?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
