I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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