She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
