Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
50% drunk capacity currently
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
