how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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