Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
