I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
