I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
