he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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