SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I still have a little drunk in my system
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
