Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
