Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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